I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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