I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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