In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
