dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
