the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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