i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
