but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
