Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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