If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we made out on top of his cat.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
