I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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