you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
ttyl tear gas
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
