i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize