How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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