Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
