No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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