Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
