I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
