i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
