How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
