She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
