So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
