i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
