i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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