she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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