I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
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Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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