# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
