Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
