and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
