I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
