well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
