We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize