u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
