When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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