I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
