I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
