I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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