Pants 0. Shit 1.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
