They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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