I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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