...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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