I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
