Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
