dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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