And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
