Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
