there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
