you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
