so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
