I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
