You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
