No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
