i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize