ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
