if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize