Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
