so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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