Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
