im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
