He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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