FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This house was built for laser tag.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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