Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize