There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
